Saturday, 29 May 2010

A Memory is Alive


Well, my big sister, her husband, and most important of all, my little niece have gone home. They left.
This sounds silly but it feels like the sunshine has gone away.



Anyways, I don’t have the heart to post up something new. Am I going to leave you with nothing, though? Nah, still a bit of torture…here’s a (not too old) piece of writing.
 A Memory is Alive
A memory’s got a mind of its own. Kinda like a mother in law or one of those friends you have that always ‘pops in’, was ‘just in the neighborhood’ and ‘thought they’d just drop by without telling you’. Sometimes, you welcome the memory, the thought of a time when things were better, simpler, more true. You sit back and try to wipe your foggy lenses- try to remember those days, the blurred faces, the names of your past and who you once were.
I remember, growing up in the States, how my mom would replay over and over again the videos she had of her brothers and sisters’ weddings. I didn’t understand it then, but now I know. I know she was looking for a way to remember.
T o   r e l i v e.
To be with them…despite the hundreds of miles apart, and the gigantic ocean that separated her from them.
Even now, to this day, I can sometimes catch her looking wistfully at the t.v. screen, at some stranger who coincidentally bears a great similarity to someone she knew…or bears no similarity at all, except in the eyes of a woman whose heart has been left abroad.
And sometimes, you don’t welcome the memory. It comes and BANG. Everything is wrong. Suddenly you remember what you would have been doing, who you would have been hanging out with…if things had stayed the same.
It’s funny how a certain smell, a color, a word can leave you with tears in your eyes…It’s funny how that’s all it takes for you to remember.
And then of course, there are those memories that you know are there, lurking just a thought away, just an inch away. They’re the memories you yearn to throw far far away…not just in another continent…A cruel word, an embarrassing situation, a time you messed up, a time when you did something terribly wrong.
It’s funny how a memory’s got a mind of its own.  Kinda like a mother in law or one of those friends you have that always ‘pops in’, was ‘just in the neighborhood’ and ‘thought they’d just drop by without telling you’.




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P.S. on a more positive notes, what's one of your favorite memories?


4 comments:

  1. What a beautiful post! Such a creative way to think of memories. I often fear I am a bit crazy because I tend to enjoy some memories too much...or review them in my mind, I mean. Last year I thought of Syria so very often. We'd gone earlier in the year and the rest of the year I was longing for it again. I'd remember sights, sounds, events, funny happenings, outings, people and often I'd end up in tears. How I missed it! Finally after the one-year anniversary of our visit, I had to put my longing to rest. It was weird, but after I bared my soul in a post on my blog, I was able to better let go of Syria. Yet even now at times something can trigger it and I can find myself *nearly in tears*. This is an improvement since last year, I would have *been in tears*. :)

    Anyway, I adored this. I am a memory freak. People are often amazed at things I remember, but there are some memories I want to keep alive, things I choose to review so I can always remember the joyful times.

    Yes, there are a few I'd rather forget and thankfully I do for the most part. :)

    SYRIA is one of my favorite memories! <3

    Thank you for this post. I am sorry you are missing your family. It's so terribly hard to let people go sometimes. Hugs!

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  2. I love memories- my favourite memories, include my younger years-i loved my childhood, it was literally the best time of my life i remember visiting my mammas homeland somalia,before the war and been incredibly happy, i remember growing up in UAE, and KSA, and i remember starting all over again in London, i remember making friends,for life i remember running, and playing, and i remember having the most amazing eids anyone could ever have
    those are my fave memories
    xx
    naz

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  3. Susanne, you know, I am a memory freak too but for another reason. My grandmother has Alzheimer's. I'm always afraid of forgetting- forgetting who I was, the people around me, who I loved, etc. I wrote something about my grandmother's 'illness' in the form of a story (that really happened) but I lost it (computer had to be reformatted).

    Anyways, I'm really glad that you enjoyed Syria that much and at the same time, that you were able to let go of it. Writing, or blogging can really have a therapeutic effect :)

    Naz, it sounds amazing! Running, visiting Somalia and so many places, playing, best Eids....awwww, so I'm glad you have all these memories :)

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  4. i can't sat what my best memory is.. lol i have too many memories cuz i'm an oldie :D

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Hey :D So am I talking to myself or...? Tell me what you think :D